Treasures, in this world, are few
Not precious stones, but people you knew
Those who made your life richer
And who were (are) your anchor
Those who stood the test of time
And indulged you when you whined
Those who understood, without a word spoken
And tended a heart, broken
Special people they are
Encouraging, even from afar
Life without meaning,
Without them, would be the feeling
Truly I was blessed
More, perhaps, than the rest
I had so many gems in my life
No doubt, too, a lot of strife
But rising about it all
My friends stood, by me, tall
My pillars of support
My voices of exhort
My ocean of love
My strength from above
Without you, life wouldn’t be the same
Like an arrow without any aim
You make my life more beautiful
Else it would be simply awful
Thanks for taking me in,
Under your wing.
I can never let go
Of a friendship so pure
Thank you for this gift
And any mistakes, I made, please forgive
I am glad you are my friend
My love, I extend
From the deepest of my being,
I love you, darling!
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I think this poem has flaws.... First u cudnt get a grip of the tense here... maybe ur relying too much on rhyme...dont.... poems can be words crafted out of silk and yet may not rhyme wid the next one....there no poetic devices here....u can probably call it an ode but it is too egocentric.... u probably wrote this wen u had nothing else to write....im saying this because ur construct seems to be made in a jiffy.... only line which is gud is the arrow widout an aim...wat do mean by strenght from above.... ur adding too many similies....it makes no effect what so ever...it becomes drab after a point.... the positive point is dat it has a flow....atleast it seems to end.... again...the number problem is significant.... i luv u darling??? if u see ur reference to a single person at this point is a bummer.... the thing u shud emphasise here is how a freind makes ur life beautiful....
ReplyDeleteand one spelling mistake is there
"But rising about it all"
it shud be "above" it all not about....16th line..... u shud break it in paras....unless u do dat there are too many kneejerkers....
i suggest u give it more tym to mature